| PLAY TIME |
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| PART TWO: Techniques |
| Extended Bondage 2 For people who like bondage, one thing that can be fun is to have the submissive sleep bound. This is most easily done if the submissive's hands and feet are bound together; extended bondage in one position (as, for example, if the submissive were tied to the bed) can become quite uncomfortable. Note that if you do this, you should not leave the submissive in a room alone, and you should bind the submissive in a way which can be released quickly in case the house catches fire ! Extended Penetration 3 With practice, it is possible to train a person's body to accept vaginal and/or anal penetration for extended periods of time. You can, for example, have a submissive wear a dildo vaginally throughout the day, or make a submissive wear an anal plug as he or she does errands or housework. The key is to start small--a dildo or anal plug that seems quite small at first can become too big after a period of time--and not push the submissive if it becomes painful. Patience is essential. What this does is makes it impossible for the submissive to ignore the penetration, whatever else he or she may be doing. This in turn can keep the submissive constantly thinking about and constantly craving sexual stimulation. I have even made my lovers keep a dildo inserted as they sleep--which tends to make the night filled with nonstop erotic dreams... Orgasm Denial 3 This is a fun, and frustrating, technique that can bring some of the spark back into sex. There are a hundred variations, but the basic idea is simple: prevent your partner from having an orgasm for a length of time (a day, two days, a week, whatever you want). You shouldn't make it easy; you can, for example, require that your partner have sex one or more times a day, or masturbate regularly (this works well when combined with a ritual of some sort), but your partner is not allowed any sexual release. Over time, the sexual tension builds up, and your partner becomes perpetually aroused. When done over a period of several days or longer, this technique creates a very powerful level of sexual excitement. When you do finally allow your partner release, it's an extremely intense experience. Human Sex Doll 1 This is a good way to explore your partner and get your feet wet in D/s. The premise is simple: the submissive partner is a living sex toy, and allows the dominant to put him or her into any position and take any action, and the submissive partner remains completely passive throughout. The submissive partner simply remains in whatever position the dominant places him or her into, and does not take an active role in any way whatsoever as the dominant explores the submissive. A variant on this idea involves tying the submissive securely in a sexually available position, and alternately exploring the submissive's body in humiliating and/or painful ways--for example, by probing the submissive's orifices with dildoes or other toys, clamping the submissive's nipples, and so on--and having sex with the submissive, during which time the submissive is forbidden to make any sound or respond in any way whatsoever. Failure to remain completely passive earns a punishment. Enforced Availability 4 This works best with a female submissive, and is especially good for those of you with an objectification fetish. Choose a specific period of time, such as one particular day, when your partner is required to be available for sex at all times, regardless of her state of arousal. During this time, she is required to do whatever is necessary to keep herself ready for sexual penetration or intercourse. Periodically throughout the day, you should take advantage of her availability by taking her sexually, without warning and regardless of what she's doing at the time. Keeping herself available and well-lubricated is part of her responsibility; she should be ready for you constantly, at any time. Eroticising everyday activities 2 There are a number of ways you can integrate D/s into things that normally don't have any connection with sex, eroticising them. For example, you might go into a pet store and have your submissive try on various collars right there in the store, then buy the one that looks the best. Or, you might send the submissive partner into a grocery store to buy innocuous things which suggest a sexual context--such as a cucumber and a box of condoms. This creates a psychological effect where the submissive is convinced that everybody knows exactly what's going on (and he or she may be right...). Sensation play 1 This is a technique suited for anyone with a very sensual approach to sexual exploration. The idea is very simple; start by blindfolding your lover (and tying him or her down, if that sounds like fun to you), then subjecting him or her to a wide variety of different sensations. For example, you may stroke your lover'sbody with ice, or drip hot wax on his or her body, or caress your lover's skin with soft fur, coarse sandpaper, and other textures. 2 A bit more intensity can be had by using a dull butter knife you've kept in the freezer for a few hours (the cold edge of a dull knife can feel very sharp!). Public play There are many techniques involving D/s in a public space, particularly where feelings of vulnerability are created. For example:4 Take your partner out to a very ritzy dinner at an upscale restaurant. Midway through dinner, quietly slip your partner some sort of sex toy. Order your partner to go to the restroom, go into a stall, strip naked, and masturbate to orgasm. As a particularly evil twist, you can order your partner to return to the table still wearing the toy. Doing something like this is a very effective way of creating a delightful sense of vulnerability. 3 Another idea: If the submissive is female, have her do something like go out to a convenience store late at night wearing a skimpy nighty. This creates an even greater sense of vulnerability. Note: If you experiment with this, it might be a good idea for safety's sake to accompany the submissive, to keep an eye on her... 1 to 5The Sealed List This technique is good for long-distance relationships, or if the dominant partner will be leaving home for a time. Make a list of actions or commands, one per page, on a series of sheets of paper, and seal each one in an envelope. Put a random number on each envelope. The instructions sealed into each envelope should direct the submissive to open another envelope, perhaps immediately or perhaps the next day. Create some dummy envelopes too, so that you'll know if your submissive partner opened them. (By keeping the scenarios sealed in envelopes, you can preserve the suspense; the submissive can't open all the envelopes and read them all at once.) Each envelope should direct the submissive to do something sexual that will take a fairly good length of time. Conditioning (part I) 3 The human brain is a remarkable organ; creative, good at pattern matching and association, and capable of learning. This affords all manner of ways to have some kinky fun. One idea that works particularly well is to condition your partner to want something which he or she normally wouldn't want, and to anticipate and even ask for things that test limits. Pick something that's within your partner's hard limits, but that normally your partner would never vountailry want or ask for. Something that you might otherwise use as a punishment is good; something your partner finds humiliating, for example, or otherwise challenging to endure. Describe how you are going to do this thing to your partner. Take your time; let the apprehension build. Explain in loving detail what you're going to do, and how it's going to feel. When your partner is writhing and twisting in apprehension, explain that you're not going to do it until they ask you to. And tell them to make it convincing. Don't give it to your partner right away. Order your partner to keep asking for it until you are absolutely convinced that they want it. Tell them to beg for it, and to describe how badly they want you to do it. Only after your partner is begging and pleading should you do to them whatever it is. The interesting thing about doing this is that human responses work both ways; our emotional state influences our actions, but our actions also influence our emotional state. A person who finds himself or herself begging for something will really begin to want that thing, even if he or she would not ordinarily want it at all! Conditioning (part II) 4 Another fun and kinky way to play with the mind's incredible flexibility is to use good old-fashioned operant conditioning in the bedroom. Pick a word, or a name, and say it when your partner reaches orgasm. Keep saying it as your partner comes. Continue to do this every time you have sex; gradually use the word just the instant before your partner comes, then a little bit longer before orgasm, then a little bit longer... With work and practice, it's often possible to train your partner to orgasm whenever they hear that word. Like, in the mall, in the office, anywhere. |
| this article was written by Franklin Veaux |
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